I've been trying to keep at least a post per month going on here. I keep reminding myself to post more, but my time gets divided between a multitude of things. Moreover, I'm aware of it; when I realize my time is divided up, too much to focus on everything, I start disregarding things. It's a mental attribute I've picked up that allows me to focus on the tasks I have at hand. It's helpful in someways (it allows me to focus on things to accomplish), and harmful in others (myopic view points, forgetting other important things, etc.). For better or worse, that's how I make sense of everything. I feel, as long as I realize the disadvantage it puts me in, I still am strong. However, it does mean less posts from me here.

I'm probably taking things too seriously here. This is one of those times where I laugh is good. I think its one of nature's defense mechanisms for us. Whether its schadenfreude, some sort of cosmic irony we are enlightened with, or some off the wall non-sequitor, I think laughter is a mechnanism built into us to make us smile, relax, and prevent us from focusing too intensely on the world. Perhaps the best laughter, parody in some form, makes us realize this and somehow helps us understand the world around us. I don't feel like I've been laughing enough lately. Dissatisfaction with my life? Bordom? Thinking too much? I don't know why.

Most likely, I'm thinking too much. That's another problem. I'm too smart for myself. My head is a rapid cloud of neurons, firing so fast that its luminence makes me blind to the world around me sometimes. I find myself where my body is out of sync with my mind. I'll notice with a lot of activities that my head is thinking two, three, four steps ahead before the first step starts. It's not too hard to correct this once I realize it, but it's very distracting at times; it's a lot easier to control the body than the mind. For example, try telling yourself not to do something versus trying not to think about something. I'll keep working at trying to achieve a mind/body parity.